It just goes on...and on...

Written exactly 2 months ago:

"This blog has turned into a once a month-ish kind of thing rather than my first goal of once per week... and you know... I'm not even upset.

I do not feel particularly provoked to write on any certain topic for today... I suppose that I can just ramble on like I usually do, but I'm not sure what that ramble will turn out to be. But, a ramble can just ramble... not like a rant on any subject. Just tons of nonsense that flows from my brain into my little fingers that clack away at this keyboard. I'm currently at work, and while I don't think that this is a very constructive work activity, it is quite early in the morning and I am merely doing this so that I do not fall asleep. I think that falling asleep is far worse than typing up a new blog post.
This morning, my mom came in and woke me up because I had forgotten to reset my alarm from the weekend... which was very fortunate because I have to leave the house at 5:50am in order to get to work in a timely manner and obey all traffic laws. When I am speeding sometimes, I get this sweat where I nervously think of ways I could talk myself out of a ticket, but then I always say to myself, "Excuses are stupid. Just stop driving like you can afford a ticket." Which I think is completely true. If you're late you're late. Technically, I could afford a ticket... but, c'mon. Really. Why bruise my clean driving record (for the last 2 years anyway)? Why cause a dent in my checking account? Why risk talking to some jerk cop who doesn't care about your good attendance at work? So, as you see, I have this little argument in my head about why I feel justified in breaking the law combating why I really don't want to be. I don't think that sentence grammatically made sense... meh.
So, lately, I decided that being done with dating would be a good idea. Maybe. I go back and forth quite a bit; I can't really seem to decide for sure on that subject. Going out on a few dates would be good to just stay fresh and not become too awkward? But then, I'm forcing myself to endure something that I may or may not be excited about. So far, I can only remember one really fun date that I've been on where the company was enjoyable, the activity was delightful, and the food was pretty much something that made my day... the rest of the dates from the beginning of this year have been epic... in a somewhat...creepy? way? I don't think that I'll post anything specific as I do believe there needs to be a lot of tact practiced in the social media world; but, if we've been friends for a while and get together and chat like friends do... you know exactly how my dating experiences have been. Here's to dating to date and to do something fun and to get to know people because you feel like you have to... sometimes. Cheers! hahahaha...
Am I allowed to say that? Pay no mind... I'm sure that when I meet someone I'm thoroughly interested in I'll be much more motivated and pleased with the dating scene.
It's 7:12am, on June 7, 2010... and I forgot to take my thyroid medication and also have been forgetting to take my multi-vitamin so my nerves are inflaming. Ouch. I used to think I was having a heart attack. But no. It's my nerves. It would be cool if I could compose word documents by just thinking the words.. and then they would magically appear. How AWESOME would that be? I'm pretty excited for that day to come... it would be a whole lot easier to compile something like this by just thinking what you wanted to write. Maybe it will look like a pair of eyeglasses that you put on and it can sense your brain wave and you can control things with your mind... hmmmm. That could be a really bad thing too...
Right now... I have to wonder if people wonder about how they begin to wonder about things and if they try to trace their train of thoughts when they are thinking about the things that they think about when they realize they are thinking... because I do. Maybe I'm a looney and need to be committed... but I think it's fascinating to examine my thoughts. Thoughts are things that come from a person's soul and determine one's true character I think... As you can see... my thoughts are about silly things. Thus I am Silly Lily. Who doesn't know that... Anyway, my next thought in addition to this was how changing your thoughts changes YOU. You are what you think... and eat. I wonder if babies have thoughts in a language? Or if everything is really basic and anything that is processed in their little heads is solely from sensations? Like the times when you stub your toe and all you can really "think" about is "AaahhhOoouuueeeeeeee!" hm.
There's a song stuck in my head right now... and I know that everyone in the world knows what it is... except for the orphans that are in obscure 3rd world countries... I don't think they were ever introduced to it... or will be any time soon. It goes like this, "This is the song that never ends..." and you know the rest :) I kind of feel like that's how this blog is... it just goes on and on my friends. You all started reading it not knowing what it was... and you'll continue reading it forever just because...
I think people become unhappy because they get too focused on one aspect in their lives and let it consume them. One of my favorite things ever said was, "When your life has become unhappy, you have become self-centered." (President Goodsell of the Manila Stake in Pleasant Grove, UT) I like to think about this when I find myself in a downward spiral of self talk. Having a negative attitude never promoted anyone in a good direction. Scott Miller, my supervisor at work, shared with me a new way of thinking. He gave me a copy of a book by Earl Nightingale which I found very refreshing. Earl states, "Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitude and expectations." I guess that's really fitting for my thought process... but I like it a lot.
While sitting here, I've deducted that I need to get more sleep. The head bobble action is getting mildly ridiculous... I may even begin to drool over the keyboard if I'm not provoked to stay awake by some stimulating activity... Lunch break will occur in approximately 1 hour.... it is now 9:38am.
My cute, darling, wonderful, exceptional, smart, loyal, helpful, awesome, gorgeous friend Ashlee and I have decided to take a vacation for my 21st birthday... I suppose being away from Utah and doing something fun will take my mind away from the fact that all the days are shorter and I'm getting older... that's aside from the point... ish. Should we... take a cruise? Be lazy on a beach in California? Do the Hawaii thing in Kauai? Do NYC? Seattle? Chicago? Vegas? Too bad I'm super indecisive... and wanting something very low budget. Woof.
OH! My goodness... I can't believe I've forgotten all about my most recent trips! For the Memorial Day weekend, Whitney, Beckie, and I trekked down to St. George to run the Midnight 5k, and then shop some of the outlets and hike Angel's Landing at Zion's National Park. It was a very physically productive weekend! The Quads were singing for about 4 days...
And then, MERISSA GOT MARRIED! I was deemed Maid of Honor because I was the only bridesmaid that came to the rehearsal... "